Who knew my War On Christmas would get so popular? Particularly in America's Heartland of Lincoln, Nebraska.
Seems one of my young volunteers in the War On Christmas tackled an inflatable lawn ornament and was charged with vandalism for
"reindeer hunting." I might as well admit it-I have a training camp for these youngsters where I make them climb monkey bars and crawl across snow covered ground on their bellies whilst toting an inflatable snow-globe, a bottle of Jim Beam and a couple of Baby Jesus figurines plucked from Nativity Scenes across town. I gave them all balaclavas to wear because it looks so tough and December is really cold in the Midwest. I even supplied material support to their terrorising of lawn ornaments by buying them all a hearty dinner at
Runza before setting out to trash people's displays. Hey, did you know the Italian Runza Sandwich is back? Well, now you do-capiche?
